Warning: This chapter, and all fallowing chapters may be triggering!
It had been a struggle, and had taken longer than he had really wanted it to, but Mikey could finally see the entrance to the Lair. His legs were shaking, threatening to give out on him, but he pushed himself onward, leaning against the wall for support, doing his best to stay quiet. The last thing he wanted was to be caught by one of his brothers, and questioned about where he had been all night.
Looking into the Lair, Mikey was thankful that the only light was the one coming from Donnie’s lab, his brainiac brother most likely having gotten absorbed into one of his many projects. Mikey was usually the one to pull his brother out of the lab, making the purple banded turtle go to bed and get something resembling actual sleep, but he knew if he did that tonight, Donnie would know instantly that something had happened, and Mikey wasn’t sure he could answer the questions Donnie would ask him.
Taking a deep breath and still trying to be as quiet as he could, Mikey pushed his way past the turnstiles, as he didn’t think he would be able to jump over them like usual. Mikey made his way down the hall toward their rooms. He desperately wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. However, despite the tempting call of his bed, and the option to not be on his feet any more, Mikey wanted a shower more than anything else.
Still using the wall for support, Mikey made it to the bathroom, pushing the door shut behind him and locking it. The small turtle leaned against the door, taking one deep breath after another as he waited for the stabbing pain in his backside to settle down to a throb again.
“Come on, you can do this,” Mikey told himself, wincing as his throat also hurt from the amount of screaming he had done. Shaking his head, Mikey pushed himself slowly away from the door, stumbling across the room to the shower; turning it on, Mikey frowned at the state of his wrists. The bleeding there had stopped hours ago, but as the water started pouring down on him, washing away the blood and other bodily fluids, the cuts began to sting again.
Forcing himself to stay standing, as he was sure if he let his legs give out on him, he wouldn’t be getting up again that night, Mikey reached for one of the cloths and started cleaning himself off. He was watching the blood stained water swirl down the drain and vanish, all the evidence of what had happened was gone, but Mikey didn’t stop scrubbing himself off; he could still feel those large hands on him, and so Mikey scrubbed harder, trying to get rid of the sick crawling feeling on his skin.
Mikey choked on a sob as he continued scrubbing vigorously, until it was almost painful to even be under the shower spray any more. Leaning against the wall, Mikey let the tears fall freely down his cheeks, his whole body hurt. His skin felt raw from the scrubbing and the hot water, but he had washed himself twice over already, and the feeling still remained.
Deciding it was useless to keep washing himself, he turned the water off and left the bathroom, leaving a small trail of water as he hadn’t bothered drying himself off. He made it to his room, closing and locking the door behind him. He stumbled through the mess in his room, before collapsing on the bed, curling up tightly as he pulled his blanket over himself, falling into a fitful sleep.
Getting himself out of bed in the morning had been difficult, but Mikey had somehow managed it, doing his best to hide how much pain he was actually in. He still wasn’t sure how he was even going to talk to his brothers, though he knew that he would have to. If Slash had attacked him, then it was possible that the large turtle could attack his brothers as well, and as much as Mikey wanted to just forget everything about last night, he wasn’t willing to put his brothers in possible danger of having the same thing happen to them.
Making his way out to the main part of the Lair, Mikey did his best not to lean against the wall for support; even though he was still in pain, he didn’t want his brothers to worry. Pausing at the end of the hall, Mikey looked around the Lair, frowning when he didn’t see Leo or Donnie anywhere, and Raph was focused on beating his punching bag.
Chewing on his lower lip, Mikey silently debated with himself; he could wait to talk to his brothers, until all three were present, but that thought wasn’t all that appealing. He didn’t want to have all three of them focused on him, while he tried to explain what had happened. Just the mental image of his three brothers surrounding him was nearly enough to send Mikey bolting back to his room.
Shaking that mental image from his head, Mikey fixed his eyes on Donnie’s lab door; it was closed, which meant that his super smart brother was busy, and Mikey knew he didn’t like being disturbed when he was working on a project.
Mikey turned his attention next to the door of the Dojo, where Leo was most likely either meditating, or having a private lesson with Master Splinter, something else that Mikey knew better than to interrupt. That only left Raph. Baby blue eyes drifted over to where the red banded turtle was. Raph really wasn’t his first choice, but Mikey knew that if he put off talking to his brothers, he would lose his nerve. Then there was the fact that Slash was Raph’s friend, so it only seemed fair that he was the first one Mikey talked to.
Taking a deep breath, Mikey moved the few short painful steps toward his brother, though he remained out of arm’s reach. Standing back and watching as his older brother swung at the punching bag, Mikey tried to work up enough courage to begin the conversation.
“Are ya gonna stand there and watch me all day, or do ya have somethin’ to say?” Raph asked as he swung his fist, connecting with the punching bag once more before he turned to look at Mikey.
“I…I wanted to talk to you, about Slash…” Mikey said, clenching his hands into fists to stop them from shaking.
“What about him?” Raph asked, raising an eyeridge at him.
“Slash…he…he did something,” Mikey began but paused when he saw Raph roll his eyes.
“Did he finally get you back for that prank you pulled last week? Serves you right,” Raph snapped, not noticing how the harsh tone of voice was affecting his baby brother.“You seriously deserved whatever he did to ya, maybe you’ll think before you pull another prank,” Raph said, ready to turn back to his punching bag, but paused, a look of confusion crossing his face when he saw how pale Mikey suddenly looked. “Mikey?” Raph asked, suddenly concerned. He took a step toward Mikey but the smaller turtle was already backing away from him.
Mikey shook his head slowly, his eyes wide as he stared at Raph, when his brother took another step toward him, Mikey didn’t wait to find out what his brother was going to say, or do, he just turned and ran from the room.
Raph stared at the spot Mikey had been standing in only a second ago. Any other time, Raph would just shrug it off and go back to what he had been doing, but the look of fear on Mikey’s face had Raph following his youngest brother.
He found Mikey in the bathroom, kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet emptying the contents of his stomach, which if Raph remembered correctly, wasn’t much since Mikey hadn’t been at breakfast that morning.
“Mikey?” Raph was unsure of what to do, he wanted to help, but he had never been good with the whole comforting thing. As Mikey dry heaved again, Raph reached to put a hand on Mikey’s shoulder, wanting to give what comfort he could.
Normal Mikey behavior would have had the younger turtle leaning into the comforting hand, soaking up whatever attention he could get. The reaction that Raph got, however, was so out of place it actually frightened the red banded turtle.
“Don’t touch me!” Mikey screamed, smacking Raph’s hand away, the sudden movement causing Mikey to fall back, crying out again in pain as his tail hit the floor.
Raph stood up quickly, backing away from his brother and holding his hands up where Mikey could see them. This didn’t seem to help very much, as Mikey still looked terrified, even going as far as to push himself back even further from Raph, until his carapace hit the bathroom wall. Even though he was as far back as he could possibly get, Mikey still tried to push himself even further away.
“Don’t touch me…” Mikey said again, wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he felt his body start shaking.
Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult, the more air he pulled into his lungs, the less he seemed to be getting, his head was spinning, his whole body was shaking, and he felt trapped. There was no where else for him to go, and so he did the only thing he could do, he pulled himself fully into his shell.
“Mikey? Come on, little bro, talk to me,” Raph said coming into the bathroom and kneeling on the floor in front of the younger turtle, trying and failing to coax him out of his shell. His mind was working over what he could have said or done to make his brother have such a reaction, but he had said nothing, and had treated Mikey no differently than usual.
Mikey didn’t reply, just remained in his shell, hiding away from everything, closing his eyes tightly. He could hear Raph come further onto the bathroom, and right now he wished more than anything that he hadn’t tried talking to anyone. Maybe it was just as Raph said, he had deserved what he got. After all, Slash had told him the same thing, he was useless.
“That’s it, I’m going to get Leo and Donnie,” Raph said, and Mikey heard him leave the bathroom. He didn’t want Leo or Donnie in here, he didn’t need to hear it from his other two brothers, he knew he was useless. Raph had pretty much confirmed that by saying that he deserved what Slash had done to him. Though a small voice in the back of his mind tried to rationalize that Raph didn’t know what Slash had done, but that didn’t matter, his red banded brother could clearly see how useless he was now.
Mikey heard footsteps coming back toward the bathroom. Baby-blue eyes went wide in panic, knowing it was his brothers. Mikey did the first thing that came to mind. Coming out of his shell, he stumbled to his feet and over to the bathroom door, slamming it shut and locking it. A moment later he heard knocking on the door, followed by Leo’s voice.
“Mikey? Are you okay?” Leo asked, and Mikey would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it, had he not felt more like crying instead.
“Go away,” Mikey said, leaning against the door and sliding down to his knees.
“Raph said you were sick,” Donnie spoke next.
“I’m fine now, go away,” Mikey said again, hoping his brothers would listen to him, though he already knew that wouldn’t happen. It didn’t stop him from trying to get them to leave.
“You’re not fine!” Raph bellowed through the door, his fist pounding on it, making the door shudder. “If ya were fine, ya wouldn’t have locked the door!” Raph growled. Mikey had to admit that Raph was right about that at least. He didn’t want all three of his brothers in here, he didn’t want to talk to them anymore. But staying locked in the bathroom wasn’t going to make them go away either.
Hands shaking, Mikey got to his feet and, preparing himself to be bombarded with three worried brothers, he reached out and clicked the lock open. He didn’t bother opening the door for them, instead he shifted away, hoping to put some distance between himself and them as they came into the bathroom.
The door swung open, and Mikey stared at his three older brothers. “Well, at least he’s outta his shell,” Raph said, stepping into the bathroom again, but paused when he saw Mikey step backwards like he had before.
“Mikey, what’s wrong?” Leo asked, having also noticed his baby brother move away from them.
“I… I…” Mikey tried to form the words, tried to call back up the courage he had had before, but his throat felt tight, and his eyes stung with unshed tears.
“Mikey, what happened to your wrists?” Leave it to Donnie to be the first to notice the cuts and bruising around the wrists.
Instead of answering him, Mikey looked down at his own wrists, his hands clenching into fists. Looking at the small cuts and bruising, Mikey was sure that if Donnie got close enough to see them, he too would see the obvious outline of the chain that had been wrapped tightly around Mikey’s wrists. A hand came into Mikey’s line of sight, and his head snapped up, baby-blue eyes widened when he noticed how close Donnie was to him now.
“Don’t touch me!” Mikey screamed, backing up further, though he could only go a couple more steps before his shell hit the wall, shifting along the wall until he was literally backed into the corner of the room. “D-don’t… don’t touch m-me,”
“See!” Raph said. “That’s what he did ta me!” Raph looked at Leo, but the oldest turtle didn’t look at him, instead he was studying Mikey.
“Mikey, look at me,” Leo said, taking a step forward. “We won’t touch you, but you have to tell us what happened,” he said, trying not to make it sound as if he were ordering Mikey.
“I…” Mikey stared at Leo, his eyes flickering from him to Donnie, who was still standing closest to him, then back to Raph. “…can’t, I can’t.” Tears started falling down Mikey’s cheeks. “I can’t tell… I… I… useless.” Mikey sank slowly down until he was sitting on the floor again, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms tightly around them. “Useless, deserved it…no one came…” Mikey babbled as harsh sobs shook his body.
“Raph, go get Master Splinter,” Leo finally said, more than a little alarmed at the state his baby brother was in. Raph didn’t even protest about being ordered out of the bathroom, leaving once again, this time to get Splinter while Donnie and Leo did their best to try and calm Mikey down.
Donnie knelt on the floor in front of the smaller turtle, though still kept his distance, not wanting to upset Mikey even more than he already was. “Mikey,”
“Don’t touch me,” Mikey said again, not lifting his head to look at Donnie.
“I won’t touch you, I promise, but you’re going to have to show me your wrists, those look pretty bad,” Donnie said, frowning when Mikey shook his head.
“Mikey, what are you scared of?” Leo asked, coming to kneel next to Donnie, his dark blue eyes fixed on his trembling baby brother.
“…hurts…deserved it…Raph said I did…they both said I did…” Mikey gasped out between sobs.
Leo looked at Donnie, who shook his head; Mikey wasn’t making much sense and was clearly getting worked up about whatever had happened. “Mikey, you have to calm down, take deep breaths, it’s going to be okay,” Donnie instructed. “We just want to help…”
“No one helped!” Mikey cried, his breathing speeding up, baby-blue eyes locked onto Donnie’s reddish brown ones as Mikey lifted his head to look at his brainiac brother. “No one helped me!”
“We’re trying to help you, Mikey,” Leo said, reaching out, hoping to reassure and calm his baby brother down, but he stopped when Mikey let out an animalistic hiss, pulling himself slightly back into his shell.
“What is going on?” Splinter’s voice came from the doorway; Leo turned to look at him, while Donnie kept his attention on Mikey.
“Sensei, Mikey’s hurt,” Leo said. “He won’t tell us what’s wrong.”
“You crowding him does not seem to be helping,” Splinter said, turning his attention from Leo to Mikey. “Michelangelo,” Splinter kept his voice soft, so as not to upset his youngest any further than he already was.
The orange banded turtle slowly lifted his head to look at Splinter, though he didn’t say anything, watching as the tall rat stepped into the bathroom. Donnie and Leo stood up, making space for their father to come and kneel in front of Mikey.
“What has happened, my son?” Splinter asked, keeping his eyes locked with Mikey’s.
Mikey stared at his father, tears still falling freely down his cheeks. “He… He hurt me,” Mikey said softly.
Splinter frowned, taking in the bruising on Mikey’s wrists, but he could sense that his youngest was hurting far worse than just physically. “Michelangelo, me and your brothers wish to help you, we can not do this until we know what has happened,” Splinter said, frowning when Mikey just closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, drawing further into his shell again.
“H-he hurt me… it hurts… they said I deserved it..” Mikey sounded tired and confused, and Splinter felt his heart ache for his son. He silently swore that whoever had caused his son such pain, was going to pay.
“Who said you deserved to be hurt?” Leo asked.
“…Raph…” Mikey said, not looking at Leo.
Raph stood in the doorway, green eyes widening, his focus on Mikey, even as everyone else in the bathroom now had their attention on the hot headed turtle.
“Raph,” Leo began.
“I didn’t do anythin’!” Raph denied, looking to Splinter, silently pleading for his father to believe him. “I swear I didn’t do nothin’,” Raph said, even though no one else had accused him, he felt like he had to defend himself.
“Then why did Mikey say-”
“I don’t know!” Raph snapped.
“Raphael,” Splinter spoke firmly, “no one is accusing you of hurting your brother to this extent,” Splinter said, knowing that while his sons did tend to fight, as most siblings would, he did not believe that any of them would be able to cause one another such pain.
“I wish to speak with Michelangelo alone,” Splinter said, watching as his other three sons exchanged worried looks, Leo was the first to nod his head.
“Come on you two,” Leo put his hand on Donnie’s arm, gently pulling him out of the bathroom with him. The two stopped in the door and looked at Raph, who was still standing there, his focus on Mikey who remained curled up on the floor.
“Raphael,” Splinter spoke again, looking at his second oldest son. Raph’s attention snapped toward Splinter for a moment before he turned sharply and pushed passed Leo and Donnie on his way out of the bathroom.
Leo closed the door behind him, allowing his father and youngest brother to have some privacy, while he and Donnie went to the main room in the Lair. Splinter waited until the door clicked shut, before he turned back toward Mikey, his youngest and smallest son looked so lost and confused. Splinter could also see quite clearly how much pain Mikey was in, every time he shifted, trying to keep himself as small as possible.
“My son, please tell me what has happened,” Splinter said, gently encouraging Mikey to tell him, so that they could start working toward fixing it.
Leo was worried that they would have to go and hunt Raph down, since an angry or upset Raph usually meant that the red banded turtle had gone topside. However they found Raph pacing back and forth in front of the couch, pausing every few steps to punch or kick something that was close by.
“He’s going to hurt his leg more if he keeps that up,” Donnie said, though was clearly reluctant to be the one to put himself in his angry brothers path.
Leo sighed, and stepped forward, “Raph,” he began, but didn’t get to say much more as the red banded turtle turned toward him and shouted.
“I didn’t hurt him!” Raph said, and had this been anyone else Leo might not have believed them, because no one was actually accusing Raph of hurting Mikey. But Leo knew his slightly younger brother, and Raph would never hurt someone like that, especially if they were a friend or family.
“I never said you did,” Leo said.
“No but he did!” Raph growled, pointing I the direction of the bathroom where they had left Mikey.
“Actually, Mikey just said you told him he deserved it, he said that’s what you both said…” Donnie spoke looking thoughtful.
“Both?” Leo asked, but Donnie shook his head.
“The only name he mentioned was Raph,” Donnie said looking at his slightly older brother. “Who isn’t the one who hurt him,” he added quickly seeing the anger on Raph’s face.
“No, I didn’t. I may push him around a bit now and then for his own good, but I’d never hurt him that much, he’s NEVER been scared of me before!!” Raph said, clearly upset about the fact that anyone would even accuse him of hurting one of his brothers to the point they didn’t even want to be touched.
“Mikey appeared to be scared of all of us,” Donnie pointed out.
“Exactly,” Leo confirmed, “but why?” Leo looked to Raph. “You’re the only one who saw him this morning, before he freaked out.”
“I didn’t do nothing! He was just talkin’ ta me,” Raph said.
“What were you talking about?” Donnie asked before Leo could continue speaking.
“Nothing important, the twerp said he wanted ta talk,” Raph trailed off, thinking over the brief conversation and what had been said. A look of horrified realization crossed Raph’s face.
“Raph?” Donnie asked, concerned with how quiet Raph had gotten, the red banded turtle said nothing, instead Raph hurried passed his brothers, going down the hall in the direction of their rooms. He passed the doors leading to their own rooms, before coming to stop at the last door that lead to their extra room, one that April had used when she stayed down here, and the room that now belonged to Slash.
Raph pounded on the door. “Slash, open up! We gotta talk!” Raph growled, ignoring Leo and Donnie who had followed him down the hall. Growling again when the door remained closed, Raph pounded on the door again.
“Raph, move,” Leo said, he didn’t know why, but Raph clearly thought that Slash either had something to do with Mikey’s injuries, or perhaps knew something about them, either way, Leo also wanted answers from the large turtle. Reaching out, Leo tried the doorknob, half expecting it to be locked. His frown deepened as the door slowly swung open, the hinges squeaking softly and Leo slowly pushed the door open, his eyes already scanning the dark room for any signs of Slash.
“I don’t think he’s in here,” Leo said, pushing the door open further, reaching out and flicking on the light, scanning the room once more before his eyes landed on something. He crossed the room while Donnie and Raph came in behind him.
An angry growl sounded through the room, and Leo turned quickly, focusing in on the sound and frowned when he saw Raph, eyes whited out and narrowed as he stared at the wall. “I’m gonna kill him!” Raph yelled. Leo turned his attention toward where Raph was looking, and had to suppress his own angry growl when he saw what Raph was looking at.
There were pictures of them taped to the wall, Leo suspected they had been left in here when April had vacated the room. But what Leo and Raph were now focused on, were the claw marks that had been slashed through Mikey’s picture.
“Not if I get to him first,” Leo said, though his voice was calmer than Raph’s, it had more of an icy edge to it.
“No one’s killing anyone,” Donnie said, taking a step back when he had two angry brothers now glaring at him. “We have to find him first, and we still don’t know what he did to Mikey,” Donnie pointed out.
“Does it matter what he did to him? He hurt him! That’s all I need to know!” Raph yelled.
“He’s your friend,” Leo said, turning his angry stare toward his hotheaded brother now. “If he’s not here, where do you think he would go?” Leo asked.
“How the fuck would I know that?” Raph shouted. “He ain’t no friend of mine! He’s not Spike anymore, he’s some…some…”
“Animal,” Leo growled. “We never should have allowed him to stay here! I knew he was dangerous.”
“You didn’t know anything! All you did was assume he was, just because he had a bit of a temper!”
“He’s attacked our little brother, and you’re STILL defending him!” Leo hissed, taking a step toward Raph, when Donnie was suddenly standing between the two of them.
“ENOUGH!” Donnie shouted, taking both angry turtles by surprise. “It doesn’t matter what happened, who was right, who was wrong! What matters is that Mikey was hurt, badly, and the only thing we know right now is that it was most likely Slash that did it, we also know that he is obviously NOT here anymore, which means he is most likely out in the sewers somewhere!” Donnie said, looking from Leo to Raph.
“I never had the chance to complete my tests, so it may be that his mind has been messed up from the mutagen,” Donnie continued, looking back to Leo. “That does NOT mean I am going to forgive him for whatever he did to Mikey! But you two arguing right now isn’t helping anything!” Donnie finished yelling, taking a deep breath and calming himself down. He wasn’t used to letting himself get so worked up, but he couldn’t stand by and let Raph and Leo argue about who was right or wrong about Slash, not when their baby brother was hurting, and scared.
“Donatello is right,” Splinter said from the doorway, gaining the attention of his three sons.
“Sensei,” Leo said, looking at the rat, then glanced behind him to see if Mikey might be standing there as well.
“Where’s Mikey?” Raph asked. “Is he going to be okay?” Raph asked, frowning when Splinter didn’t immediately tell them that Mikey was fine, and just needed rest. Instead the rat’s ears lowered, and Splinter let out a long sad sigh.
“Michelangelo has told me part of what has happened to him, though I do not believe even he understands fully what happened,” Splinter explained.
“What happened to him, Sensei?” Donnie asked.
“Michelangelo has been violated,” Splinter said, his ears still flat against his head.
“Violated?” Donnie’s eyes widened as his mind quickly pieced things together. “You mean Slash raped him?” Donnie asked in sickening horror, though he didn’t need Splinter to answer, the expression on his face was all the confirmation they needed.
Raph let out a loud angry yell and ran toward the door, only to be stopped by Splinter. “Raphael, you must calm down!”
“No!” Raph shouted, struggling even as Leo hurried forward to help hold onto the angry turtle. “I’m gonna find him, and I’m gonna kill him!”
“Violence and revenge are not the answer,” Splinter said firmly.
“The hell it ain’t!” Raph growled.
“That’s enough Raph!” Leo said, holding tightly onto his brother. “I want to find him and make him pay too! But running out of the Lair when we don’t even know where to look isn’t going to help anyone! Mikey needs us here,” Leo tried to reason.
“He don’t even want to be around us!” Raph elbowed Leo, before looking to Splinter. “I can’t let Slash get away with this!”
“He will not get away with it,” Splinter reassured Raph, placing a hand on his shoulder. “However Leonardo is correct, you can not go after Slash at the moment, your brother is hurting in more ways than one, but he will need all of us here to help him through what has happened,” Splinter said, and though he could still see and sense the anger coming from his three sons, for the moment he knew they would not go after Michelangelo’s attacker. However Splinter also knew that he could not stop his sons from seeking out revenge on their brothers behalf. It would be a long trying road ahead for all of them, and only time would tell how much this attack would change his happy and vibrant son.